Oh, a post about sarcasm. Oh, that’s really original.

Sarcasm is vastly underrated. My family long told me not to use it, and I think most people consider it to be unattractive (especially in women), but it can often be the most concise and wittiest way of putting something.

Let me go on a tangent: if I may thump the Jewish thing, Jews hate perk. If you’re Jewish and you don’t agree with this, it’s probably because you’ve been sheltered from Jewish culture and don’t think Jewish jokes are funny, either. At any rate, I would much rather be around a funny, somewhat negative, sarky person than a Pollyanna. That may be counter to common sense and common wisdom, but I’m being honest with myself. Perhaps it’s possible to be funny without being at least slightly negative and subversive, but that decreases the odds. A lot.

Here’s an example of who I’m trying to *not* be around.

Part of why I love House, M.D. is that, among other public services, Dr. House is bringing back sarcasm. Good for him! America’s sweetheart has woken us up from the dull slumber of everyone going, “Don’t be sarcastic!”

Dr. House would totally cure, with pharms or just his personality, that annoying perky B***h in the above video.

So what are your favorite sarcasm moments, your own or otherwise?

Question: In what way did bribery play a part in your religious upbringing, if any? I don’t mean bribes as in “ultimate reward,” but more like on the Simpsons when Reverend Lovejoy explains that if a kid isn’t Christian, that means no Christmas presents. “You win more souls with Easy Bake Ovens than with this sleeping pill,” he says, holding his bible.

I expect that’s why many parents take their kids to brunch/Chinese food after services: a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

That aside, I found Appalachian Agnostic’s testimony a great one. It’s a great example of how religion can be a steaming pile of hatred, fire and brimstone.

“Negativity was the rule in Horace’s church. He loved to call us wiggly maggots. He loved to point out how 99% of the rest of the preachers in the world were wrong. He loved to disparage any human effort to make the world a better place. According to him, the fallen world could never be improved by fallen man. The world was garbage. Man was garbage. Only God and Christ were good.

Despite his negativity, or maybe because of it, Horace Peabody held a powerful grip on his followers. If someone on the street asked a member of our church which church he attended, chances are the member would say, ‘Horace Peabody’s Church’ instead of the actual name of the organization.”

This is a good example of how violent and hate-filled memes tend to propagate better, as Craig James discusses in the Religion Virus. Appalachian Agnostic goes on to describe how the preacher had a hypnotic hold on the congregation, “building up slowly, like a symphony until you found yourself listening, not so much to the words, but to the rhythm. The content of the sermon was always confusing.”

I should look into the neuroscience behind this. The “hypnotism” is probably a good reason for the success of religion. Lulling someone works well in the secular world, too. And here is another example of a meme that has done a great job of propagating religion:

“While I doubt that anyone in Horace Peabody’s church has ever been made to feel special for possessing a gift or a talent, my guess is that they all feel special to be included in God’s so called elect. I don’t suppose there is any earthly failure or shortcoming that couldn’t be assuaged by the sure knowledge that you will be happy in Heaven while those who thought they were better than you are burning in Hell.”

Put all those factors together and it’s easy to see how religion might be irresistible.

Tinkerbell: a great role model for girls

You all know Tinkerbell as the pixie with the Marilyn Monroe measurements who opens every Disney movie. In the past thirteen years, Disney princesses, and to a lesser degree, Tinkerbell and her fairy cohorts, have become an enormous licensing force. Who can blame kids for loving such innocuous, innocent, and, of course, beautiful characters?
I saw Disney’s Peter Pan for the first time when I was an adult. It’s always interesting to see children’s media as an adult, particularly if you saw the same thing as a child. Watching Peter Pan, I was amazed at the blatant racism in the movie, which by today’s standards would only befit South Park. The musical number, “What Made the Red Man Red,” about Native Americans, wasn’t offensive to most people in its time, and it’s certainly a relief to realize that times have changed for the better, but probably only an adult or older child could register just what that song meant.
Likewise the behavior among the female characters. You all remember Wendy, the female lead, who went to Neverland with her younger brothers and Peter Pan. She was eager to see mermaids, but once she finally met some, they saw her as competing for Peter Pan’s attentions and physically attacked her. (Interesting dating scene in Neverland– apparently, Peter Pan was the only eligible bachelor around.) What I found truly amazing, though, was when Tinkerbell, for the same reason of romantic jealousy, made an attempt on Wendy’s life. (Yes, bachelors are just that rare in Neverland. It sounds worse than those stories I hear about New York.) This was after I had, for years, seen Tinkerbell as a world-famous, harmless kids’ character and second only to Mickey Mouse in being the face of Disney itself.
When Peter Pan apprehends Tinkerbell about what she’s done, Tinkerbell, silent but speaking volumes, proudly admits she tried to rub out Wendy, with no remorse whatsoever until Peter Pan makes it clear that this will cost Tinkerbell his affection.
Interesting role model to feed to kids.
Granted, this aspect of the story may well go over the heads of younger children, but it’s still kind of creepy that we’ve come to celebrate Tinkerbell as an icon when she has murder most foul on her rap sheet. Would parents keep buying Tinkerbellaphernalia– pencil cases, videos, coloring books, etc.– if they knew that she was a murderess? Have parents ever sat down and watched this movie enough to know about this… or does it just not matter, since Tinkerbell is pretty?

A lot of tangents grew from my NOI post. NOI brought up for me that I haven’t thought much about black atheists, which I’ll write about some other day. Meanwhile, I sought responses from black atheists, especially those from NOI families.

I have many thoughts on racism that I’d like to discuss and get feedback on, but feel hesitant to do so since I’m afraid that no matter what I write, it’ll be misconstrued as racist and I’ll have to defend myself that it’s not. Ugh. It’s dangerous that anyone who brings up legitimate questions, especially ones that criticize, are accused of being up to no good.

The Nation of Islam itself is maddeningly counter-productive, opposing blacks mixing with Caucasians and blacks’ integration into American society, opposing the civil rights movement (!) because it went hand-in-hand with integration, etc. This may sound more like politics than religion, but remember that it’s grounded in NOI mythology and countering the “white supremacy” of Christianity. Because we all know that Islam has always been just super to blacks (cough).

Robert, whose father was NOI, really lent his experience to the post. He pointed out that while Christians criticize NOI, not many atheists (such as Dawkins) seem to do so. Atheists, especially comedians: please give NOI the good bashing it deserves. The comedy about NOI I’ve seen, with one exception, bashes NOI leaders like Farrakhan, who, while he richly deserves it, ignores the problems of NOI itself. 

I have an embarrassing confession: I love TV. I don’t know why that’s such a bad thing, since clearly I’m not the only one: people shell out for the latest plasma TVs and buy premium cable packages. It adds up to a lot of money. Further, it’s not considered shameful to be a movie (or better yet, film/cinema) buff.

This doesn’t seem quite fair. People often refer to television as film’s “ugly step-sister.” Being a step-sister myself, I dunno. (As to whether I’m ugly, well, that’s for others to decide.) Also, people often refer to TV as a stupid medium. Movies are often a stupid medium, too- I’m sure we can all name at least 30 movies to lend credence that film is not necessarily nobler than TV.

Even nobler a medium is books. Now, movies aside, there are “smart” TV programs and “stupid” books. I think that House, MD is a “smart” show. It is very well written and researched, and my friend, who is a medical student, says she is actually learning from the show, so it is performing a public service! Again, I’m sure many of us can name “stupid” books. Typically those written by celebrities, but that’s just off the top of my head.

Among TV shows I have just adored over the years and would consider “smart”:

Seinfeld, before it bit the shark hard in 1996. The Simpsons. Family Guy. Northern Exposure. House, MD. Big Love. Married… With Children. Sesame Street. Futurama.

There have been “stupid” shows I liked over the years, particularly as a kid in the ’80s, the golden age of sitcomery, but anyone of my generation pretty much knows what those are and I’m embarrassed to talk about them.

What are your thoughts?

Firstly, please check out the Secular Nation podcast in which David Driscoll and I talk about atheist comedians. Comedians, such as yours truly, are very prominent in new atheism. I can’t think of any similar movement when this was the case. Were comedians very relevant when it came to feminism? Civil rights? Gay rights? Not really… but it’s hard to imagine new atheism without names like Bill Maher and Julia Sweeney.

Since I brought it up in the podcast, I’m now very curious about the Nation of Islam. It occurred to me that I haven’t heard any comedians seize on it, the way they have other religions, including mainstream Islam.

Perhaps this is due to the fact that a non-black comedian making fun of NOI would be perceived as racist. I don’t feel like it truly is racist, since it’s only reporting the truth, but I can understand avoiding the whole hornets’ nest. I know I couldn’t get away with making fun of any black institution. (Unless I were really, really funny.) Are there any black comedians out there who make fun of it?

Comedy aside, in all the media I’ve seen about atheism and its (justified) attacks on religion, none of the atheist media criticized NOI– even though they (justifiably) criticize Islam all the time.

This all-American 20th century take on Islam is one of the fastest-growing religions in the US. While I can understand the sentiments that attract blacks to it, I definitely have some problems with it, not the least of which is its anti-Semitic slant (also homophobic and misogynist slants, which are no day at the beach either).  I say this as a Jewish woman, and as someone from West Philadelphia, where it had a large presence. Unlike Scientology or Mormonism, it actually was in my face.

While I don’t know if it is from a reputable source, here is a quote about the NOI mythology.

It is the teaching of Elijah Muhammad that all black men today are a part of this God-race. The black race is thus divine and superior to all other races. Modern day blacks came into existence some 66 trillion years ago when a great explosion ripped the moon from the earth. These people were black and called the tribe of Shabazz. They explored the earth and settled the better places to live, two of which are the Nile Valley and Mecca. Again, neither the Qur’an nor the Bible support such a concept.

W. D. Fard taught that the white man is the result of genetic manipulation by an evil black scientist named “Yakub.” Through a special method of birth control, Yakub bred the black out of his experimental creatures until they were white. This took about 600 years to accomplish. According to the theology of Elijah Muhammad, black really is the symbolic color of good and white symbolic color of evil. His reasoning is that all colors are present in black, and all colors are taken out of white. His conclusion is that the whiter Yakub’s creatures became, the less good there was in them and the more evil there was in them. The final product was so evil, they became devils. Black Muslims call the white man Blue Eyed Devils and blame all of the suffering in the world upon them. The creation of the white man occurred some 6,600+ years ago. Again, this teaching is foreign to both the Qur’an and the Bible.

There is also a rather unique space man mythology associated with the Nation of Islam’s teachings. Elijah Muhammad contended that it had been revealed to him by W. D. Fard, (Allah) that there was a great mother plane (aircraft/spaceship) which is really a small maneuverable planet that orbits as much as forty miles above the earth. Black scientists originally used the mother plane to raise the mountain ranges of the earth by dropping bombs. This great mother plane is equated with the wheel in the vision of Ezekiel. At some time in the future, Allah will bring this mother plane back into the earth’s atmosphere and bomb the cities of the world. The bombs will burrow one mile beneath the cities, and then all explode at a given time. When this happens, the evil that is the unconverted white race will be purged from the world. This aspect of Elijah Muhammad’s doctrine tends to be confusing, because, in the same speech, it starts off being a plane that must return to the atmosphere of the earth every six months of so and ends up being a small self-sustaining world. This doctrine, again, is foreign to both the Bible and the Qur’an.

If any of you are former NOI, or from a family that is NOI but elected not to partake, I’d like to hear from you. For that matter, if you’re black, how do you feel about the Nation of Islam itself?

One more thing: I’m still looking for a place that will pay me to do my act, since this stuff is really hard, so when I do, I want to do more atheist material. If anyone has a hilarious story, please send it to me.

And keep on laughing. It’s a great survival skill.

I just adore Stephen Colbert. Here is one of my favorite clips of his.

nailed–em—fentimans-victorian-lemonade

As always, Colbert is very insightful. Why should we disturb our kids with accurate labeling? All this time, I’ve been living in bliss, ignorant of the fact that there are trace amounts of alcohol in so-called soft drinks like 7 Up. Which parents put in baby bottles to feed their innocent babies. Sure, I was aware that there were trace amounts of cocaine in Coca Cola, but that’s completely different.

As Ned Flanders put it when opposing science, “There are some things we don’t want to know– important things!”

Which brings me to another question:  if ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more blissful people?

My Facebook friends will remember when I posted about an interesting children’s book about how whales evolved. I love animals in general and have particularly had a fondness for whales and dolphins. While they are beautiful, they are pretty weird animals. Not only that, but their physiology really makes it look like evolution really happened, so I’m guessing whales piss of our creation “scientist” friends.

I still have a question: how did whales evolve to be so large? Their land ancestors were “only” about the size of cows, and now blue whales are the largest animals to ever live on earth. Is it because they had so much to eat they got fat? (Just kidding.) I understand that due to buoyancy they can grow to large sizes, but that doesn’t tell me why it was advantageous for them.

I have heard beautiful whale songs before. They were haunting and it is easy for me to think they were communicative on an almost human level. I was looking at youtube videos for their songs, and while some were beautiful, many were what I suppose wound up on the cutting room floor, because the “songs” sounded more like a big fat guy coughing and burping after a huge French meal. Sorry, whales: you’ve betrayed yourselves as the big fat mammals you are.

Other songs sounded more like monkey shrieks to me. How this “music” came to be thought of as soothing, I don’t know.

Here is one of the videos with nice whale songs.

I read an interesting book, A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey With Your Kids About Sex, not realizing that it had a Christian slant. Since I don’t have kids (although will soon inherit a step-daughter), you might wonder why. I have long studied sexuality and am a strong advocate of sex-positive sex education for children AND adults, and am greatly troubled by the ignorance and counter-productive ideas out there.

Anywho, the authors advised girls (the book was aimed at kids, as well) that guys didn’t find it sexy when girls wore skimpy clothing such as that epitomized by Britney Spears’s influence. First, you think someone should have alerted Madison Avenue. Next, are they advising girls to wear more conservative clothes in order to attract boys? Are they saying that guys really do find looser clothing that covers more to be sexier on girls and women? Since the authors thumped modesty throughout the book, this strikes me as a strange double message, but that’s religion for you.

I am by no means a prude, but I am troubled by the trend of young girls wearing, for lack of a better word, slutty clothing. When I was a kid, there was no such thing as thongs for children. I essentially wore jeans and t-shirts like everyone else and I don’t remember anyone caring about “skinny” jeans or sexy shirts. I expect any girl who wore them would have been subject to ridicule: “You’re trying to attract guys, huh?”

Once I wore a sleeveless summer dress in third grade and the kids commented, someone negatively, that I was showing my shoulders. Shameless! I’m not saying we should force our daughters to wear birkas, but there must be a healthy medium someplace.

In any case, what did the Xian authors want, exactly? Modesty for the sake of modesty, or modesty for the sake of attracting boys?

Sometimes being female is a very confusing minefield…

I’d like to know what my male readers think with regards to modest vs. skimpy clothing.

Oh, one more thing: the authors advocated to fathers that they should personally measure their daughters for bras. I would rather have drunk poison. At least there might have been an antidote for that.

Hi diddly ho atheisterinos,

I haven’t blogged in a while. I’m feeling, what I might say with as positive a light as possible, less optimistic about the chance of finding an editor or agent for Not My God, which is too bad since I conceived of the idea in the first place because I thought it was interesting and marketable. I’m not saying I’m quitting exactly, but I’d like to change the blog to not just about the personal stories of atheists, but as a showcase for my writing. Keep reading for my rants, raves, questions I don’t know how to research, questions I’m too lazy to research, and, yes, more about atheism.

Meantime, I had so much fun (didn’t we all?) with last year’s Christian Kitsch contest that I’d like to hold another contest of a similar theme. Any ideas? I’m thinking “best desperate explanation for how Noah fit all the animals on the ark” or “things to criticize about Judaism, since it doesn’t give us as much material as Xianity or Islam.” Funny, creative and irritating all at once.

Reply with suggestions, please.