Colbert and House have referenced each other on their shows, and I think the time has come to consummate the “funniest relationship on TV.” Just do it, guys: just make appearances on each others’ shows. In character.

Perhaps the most obvious thing is for House to do his own version of Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA. I’m not sure how to do this exactly, since it is usually Colbert hawking products of the dubious Prescott Pharmaceuticals (“Where they say, ‘That’s why you have two kidneys.’”) In this version, would House rebut Prescott? Or tell us how to really cheat death by not doing stupid things like smoking, drinking or snorting coke off a hooker’s ass?

Alternatively, House could be just a regular guest on the show and chat about what it’s like to be a world-renowned doctor and stone-cold jerk. Maybe he’d even have something specific to talk about: a tasty new disease, perhaps?

In the interest of reciprocation, Colbert would clearly have to be on an episode of House as a patient. Let’s just say his megalomania is covering up whatever real symptoms exist which in turn are complicated by his staunch refusal of universal health care, or any health care at all that violates the terms of the free market.

What do you guys think?

(Well, House *is* a fictitious atheist, and a really cool one…)

Oh, a post about sarcasm. Oh, that’s really original.

Sarcasm is vastly underrated. My family long told me not to use it, and I think most people consider it to be unattractive (especially in women), but it can often be the most concise and wittiest way of putting something.

Let me go on a tangent: if I may thump the Jewish thing, Jews hate perk. If you’re Jewish and you don’t agree with this, it’s probably because you’ve been sheltered from Jewish culture and don’t think Jewish jokes are funny, either. At any rate, I would much rather be around a funny, somewhat negative, sarky person than a Pollyanna. That may be counter to common sense and common wisdom, but I’m being honest with myself. Perhaps it’s possible to be funny without being at least slightly negative and subversive, but that decreases the odds. A lot.

Here’s an example of who I’m trying to *not* be around.

Part of why I love House, M.D. is that, among other public services, Dr. House is bringing back sarcasm. Good for him! America’s sweetheart has woken us up from the dull slumber of everyone going, “Don’t be sarcastic!”

Dr. House would totally cure, with pharms or just his personality, that annoying perky B***h in the above video.

So what are your favorite sarcasm moments, your own or otherwise?

Tinkerbell: a great role model for girls

You all know Tinkerbell as the pixie with the Marilyn Monroe measurements who opens every Disney movie. In the past thirteen years, Disney princesses, and to a lesser degree, Tinkerbell and her fairy cohorts, have become an enormous licensing force. Who can blame kids for loving such innocuous, innocent, and, of course, beautiful characters?
I saw Disney’s Peter Pan for the first time when I was an adult. It’s always interesting to see children’s media as an adult, particularly if you saw the same thing as a child. Watching Peter Pan, I was amazed at the blatant racism in the movie, which by today’s standards would only befit South Park. The musical number, “What Made the Red Man Red,” about Native Americans, wasn’t offensive to most people in its time, and it’s certainly a relief to realize that times have changed for the better, but probably only an adult or older child could register just what that song meant.
Likewise the behavior among the female characters. You all remember Wendy, the female lead, who went to Neverland with her younger brothers and Peter Pan. She was eager to see mermaids, but once she finally met some, they saw her as competing for Peter Pan’s attentions and physically attacked her. (Interesting dating scene in Neverland– apparently, Peter Pan was the only eligible bachelor around.) What I found truly amazing, though, was when Tinkerbell, for the same reason of romantic jealousy, made an attempt on Wendy’s life. (Yes, bachelors are just that rare in Neverland. It sounds worse than those stories I hear about New York.) This was after I had, for years, seen Tinkerbell as a world-famous, harmless kids’ character and second only to Mickey Mouse in being the face of Disney itself.
When Peter Pan apprehends Tinkerbell about what she’s done, Tinkerbell, silent but speaking volumes, proudly admits she tried to rub out Wendy, with no remorse whatsoever until Peter Pan makes it clear that this will cost Tinkerbell his affection.
Interesting role model to feed to kids.
Granted, this aspect of the story may well go over the heads of younger children, but it’s still kind of creepy that we’ve come to celebrate Tinkerbell as an icon when she has murder most foul on her rap sheet. Would parents keep buying Tinkerbellaphernalia– pencil cases, videos, coloring books, etc.– if they knew that she was a murderess? Have parents ever sat down and watched this movie enough to know about this… or does it just not matter, since Tinkerbell is pretty?